David Daniel Crocker
This is the story of my friend Dave
I’m sure you know him he shows up late
This is where I heard his dairy Dave tales
In the basement in the haze I had to write this shit down
Story of a young man coming to age
This is the story of my friend Dave
Oh I wrote this tale, most peculiarly
About my friend Dave
And he doesn’t get high just only a buzz
And he doesn’t drink more than half a shot
But he’d do anything if you ever did need
Just ask and you shall eth receive
Story of a young man coming to age
This is the story of my friend Dave
Oh I wrote this tail, most peculiarly
About my friend Dave
And it feels like
I’m stuck in this valley
The only thing I can see
Is the L and the C
Whoa oh ,oh oh, oh O, Get me out of here
Whoa oh ,oh oh, oh O, Won’t you come with me
Whoa oh ,oh oh, oh O, Would you ever see?
Whoa oh ,oh oh, oh O, Your life with me
With a criminal
Who seems to lose it all
I can’t see life without you
But I can’t stay if that’s what you choose
Where do you want to go
Please outside of Idaho
Head south to who knows
Head north to the great unknown
And we’ll get no help
Government assistance isn’t on our side
Tell your mother we need an alibi
Cause baby we’ll be leaving tonight
Guess what, they didn’t find the money,
Guess what, I found the money.
Early that day an old man walked into a bank
Pulled a gun and said give me your money
As he ran they shot him 9 times in the back
Guess what, they didn’t find the money,
Guess what, I found the money!
MFSB
And she always wanted more,
She always did call me a bore,
A 16 year old problem, never thought I had a chance,
A 16 year old wife addicted to a speed man
And this girl was far too young,
I put her on the bike we rode to Mountain Home,
She was running like I we couldn’t go home
Under the stars we slept that night.
Never trust a woman with your heart,
She’ll rob you and take your pride
Never trust a 16 year old bride
Once we hit the sunny strip she said
She wanted strip I said I can’t believe this shit
Once I got a job she went upstairs,
Started fucking a black man and riding the H train
This girl was far too young.
I finally put my foot down when she started taking naked photos of Her body and selling them for money.
Oh you bitch you are a slut
Never trust a woman with your heart,
She’ll rob you and take your pride
Never trust a 16 year old bride
You Mother Fucking Slutty Bitch,
I Can’t Believe You Would Cheat Like This
You FUCK, You SLUT, You BITCH!
I Ever See That Man I’m Gonna Kill Him.
Vahalia Assaf Khouri Najar
Never thought that this would be the way that I’d see her go.
Wrapped in my arms with a needle in hers she done died
And this hateful resentment in my heart has turned to revenge
Bang Bang Bang goes the butt of my colt 45
I bang on the door of her drug dealer he’s got to die
And as they open the door I put my piece down to my side
As I enter the snake pit there were four
Two on the couch and two lying on the floor
And as they jumped up I shot every last one of them,
They’re all dead
Did you hear the screaming I swear they’re all dead
It’s not in my head
I went upstairs to find a young middle eastern man in a cage
My name is Vahalia Asaf Khouri Najar, My name is Vahalia,
I owe my life to yours
That man you killed was my captor, he held me for ransom,
My father sent three sheets of onion paper wrapped in hashish,
Today the package came, it was my judgement day,
Until you busted in, you saved my life today.
My name is Vahalia Assaf Khouri Najar, My name is Vahalia,
I owe my life to your!
KARATE KILLZ
Well I see that you, brought with you all of your tools,
You’re going to meet the king, go to room 315
Cadillac Spillz, Karate Killz, a bucket of Pillz and you’ve met the King
As Dave approaches the door he does see, the devil does open with,
Two naked women and Colt 45’s, Won’t you come in fix my Television
Cadillac Spillz, Karate Killz, A bucket of Pillz and you’ve met the King
And you’ve, been away for 10,000 years my friend
Did you see the devil in the flesh? I swear!
Mama My Sister is Dead
Here she is again lying naked on the floor
She locked herself in the bathroom
My big sister she said
Hey babe I wanted to talk to you at the end
The only thing that they said, that ever comforted my head
The only thing that they said, that ever comforted my head.
Three days later the office called,
Is David Crocker there? Yes what can I do you for
Oh Dave I’m sorry to inform you that,
Oh Dave your sister is dead
The only thing that they said, that ever comforted my head,
The only thing that they said, is it won’t happen again.
Oh and time, Oh time, won’t rearrange
Oh and time, Oh time, won’t rearrange
My mother's footsteps come running down the hall,
She turned the corner, she dropped to her knees
A cold sweat, it did fall,
And this, this she said to me.
David Daniel Crocker
David Daniel Crocker
David Daniel Crocker, what did the officer say?
David Daniel Crocker, Mama my sister is dead!
Can you imagine, my sister she is not dead,
Can you imagine, her life she did not take
Oh please hear me Satan, I ask this wish of you,
I’ll do more work for you, I give my soul to you!
David Daniel Crocker,
David Daniel Crocker, mama my sister is dead!
Curtis Mayfield
I bought a bottle, rolled a joint, then I took two lines
I got excited, moved my arm then I spilled the wine,
Sherry Ness, a lovely mess, curled up on the floor,
A fresh fish, lamb to slaughter, then she’s looking for more
I know she’s looking to score, but don’t call her a whore,
She’s more like an escort
Ten thousand men, and two of us white
Ten thousand men, and two of us white
And the devil done touched me, a riot for me.
And the devil done touched me, curtis mayfield.
Natural Born Killers
Genie Marie drinks a double at the starlight lounge
In walks her man from the jungle room he sits right down
Oh and he says sweet genie what are you doing down here
I usually see dogs and sluts in this shit hole here
But since, since you are here,
Can I buy you a drink?
Can I touch you there?
Because Natural Born Killers was the best mother fucking movie
I ever did see and now you’ve got to believe.
In walks Dave Crocker he is 1973
Long hair sunglasses leather jacket it’s a 100 degrees
But he seems cooler than any fox around
Strolls right behind the bar and then he sits right down
And out of the corner of Dave’s eye,
He sees a damsel with some fucking guy.
Because Natural Born Killers was the best mother fucking movie
I ever did see and now you’ve got to believe.
Shut up you bitch don’t you ever tell me my business
Genies old man said then he pulled out the back of his hand
Dave was slyer than any fox around
He strolled up behind the man, he pulled his switchblade out
And as genies old man felt a stab he felt another jab
Because Natural Born Killers was the best mother fucking movie I ever did see
and now you’ve got to believe.
And you never thought you’d see,
A guy like Dave sneak,
Up behind you and stab you in the back
And as Dave goes to the door,
He turned around and looked him in the eye
He said you ever touch this woman again
YOU'RE GONNA DIE!
LUDES
Here we are me and Genie Marie, ooo finally after work,
I put her on the bike, ooo ooo she did scream now,
Now we’re back at the house, we’re smoking grass,
We’re having a blast, she takes two quaaludes and says take two Then we’re going to fuck.
I can’t believe this, I’m staring right at her tits, she,
Tells me to wait, I can’t believe this shit, now,
Now the drugs have hit, she can’t keep control of it, she,
Pounces on my lap, she licks my ear, she scratches my back.
And I know you love to dance, but that don’t make you a slut,
Won’t you please strip for me, my kinky Genie Marie.
Now the drugs have hit, we melt right into the couch, she,
Rolls down her sock, says lick my thigh on down to my toe,
Now I can’t believe I’m sucking on some nasty ass toes!
My kinky Genie Marie!
Genie Marie!
And I know you love to dance, but that don’t make you a slut,
Won’t you please strip for me, my kinky Genie Marie
Cocaine
Where did all the cocaine go?
Where did all them naked girls run?
On the 7th floor of the hotel/motel we are partying on.
And we are high as a kite
We started a 3 day bender
The glasses man done hooked us up
We started Friday Night and now its Sunday Morning
And we’re high as a kite
And you, you didn’t even know know,
That we would sleep a wink
And thank the Lord Las Vegas is,
The only place where you can wear your sunglasses to work.
March of Dimes
This was going to be a battle, Vahalia to the East,
And Dave on the West end of the bridge
He got the call two hours ago, she called him from Tonopah,
she was at the mall, when her, old man nabbed her,
and now they’re headed towards Reno.
And can you believe, through all this blood that she’s,
She’s in love with me,
Oh my Genie Marie, will you marry me, I’m,
I’m in love with you!
And on this bridge we danced, over the murder,
Of her old man, we stuck to the plan
And on this bridge we danced, give me your hand,
We’ll share this blood, we are so romantic.
Fist this Dave did was call Vahalia, they needed a plan,
Bullets and gasoline,
The plan was to lure him to a bridge,
Vahalia would snipe him from the east
Dave would burn the body, then they would all take acid,
Now they’re headed towards Reno
And can you believe through all this blood she’s,
She’s in love with me
Oh my Genie Marie, will you marry me, I’m,
I’m in love with you!
And on this bridge we danced, over the murder,
Of her old man, we stuck to the plan
And on this bridge we danced, give me your hand,
We’ll share this blood, we are so romantic.
And did you hear, what he said to me
His last four breaths, he stared up at me
While spitting up blood, he swore to me,
I’ll see you in hell, you just wait and see.
Go ahead have your last cigarette, you might as well deserve it yet,
Look out the back window and see the flames light up the night sky
Vahalia’s in the front seat speaking Arabic,
Genie’s in the back getting herself wet,
the violence seems to turn her on,
And I know that we are strange, and this,
This was our big change,
To a psychotic life, a life we love.
Will we ever get off this highway yet,
Those fat sacks of poison are tracking us,
the desert seems to have come alive,
As the state trooper flicks on his lights,
Vahalia pulls over to the right,
And as he approaches,
Vahalia shoots twice and we head into the night.
And I know that we are strange, and this,
This was our big change,
To a psychotic life, a life we love.
We drove till eight O’clock, that’s when we turned off
We climbed till we hit the top, to watch the sun come up
Inhibitions lost to the wind, that’s when we saw our final fate
That’s when we finally let go, to all the fears we faced!
The Ocean
The waves crashing down, over me
I cannot feel my legs, and it hurts to breath
Let the waves carry me, out to sea
Lying dead in front of me, is my Genie Marie
She didn’t the make the jump, she didn’t go as far as me
Won’t the waves carry me, out to sea, let them bury me
What is hell to you?
Cause this is it, to me!
27 men, they tracked me to this beach, oh no,
I think they’ve found me
Come as they are, a mutiny, police,
Oh no I think I feel their feet.
Dr. Mackay would you please come with me
Dr. Mackay would you please come with me
David Crocker changed my life. I am lucky to have had the chance to listen to his stories and let them ignite my imagination. Everyone has a story to tell, but Dave's are interesting as hell!
Mason McCroskey